Tired of Complications
Summary: Xander goes to L.A., he and Doyle get more
than a little friendly and Angel gets more than a little jealous
********************
“So, remind me why we’re here again?”
Willow sighed and glanced at her oldest friend. “Xander, we’re here to offer
moral support to Buffy. You know she’s going to be upset after she talks
to Angel, even if they are only discussing a new demon.”
The two Slayerettes were currently in the waiting room of Angel Investigations,
Xander sprawled out on the couch and Willow behind Cordelia’s desk. The Witch
had graciously offered to take over any secretarial duties while the ex-May
Queen attended another audition.
“Okay, moral support. That explains why you’re here but what about me?”
“You’re Buffy’s friend too.” The redhead insisted.
“Right, so the fact that, besides Giles, I’m the only one of us with a car
had nothing to do with it?” Xander caught the fleeting look of guilt that
passed over the witch’s face. “Yeah, I thought so.” There was no hurt or
offense in the teen’s voice only a slightly bitter resignation.
“Oh Xander. . .” Willow attempt at comfort was interrupted by a certain vampire
slayer barreling out of Angel’s main office. Tears streamed down Buffy’s
face as she motioned for Willow to follow her. Xander watched the melodramatic
pair make their way out of the building.
“Oh no, I’ll just stay here. Don’t worry about me.” He muttered to himself
as he closed the door behind them.
“Nice friends ya got tere.” Xander started slightly at the soft Irish lilt
behind him.
“Sorry, didn’t mean ta scare ya.” The dark haired man dimpled at the teen.
“Don’t worry, I’m used to it.” Xander answered slowly taking stock of the
new arrival.
“Name’s Doyle.”
“Xander.” The boy responded shaking the offered hand.
“So, you’re down here with Buffy and tha redhead?”
“Willow. Yeah, I am.”
“You’re not goin’ after them?”
“They’ll find me when they need a ride home.”
Doyle frowned at the compliant tone of the teenager’s voice. He had heard
it before, most recently coming from his own mouth. The half-demon made
a firm decision then and there to raise the younger man’s spirits. “Does
that mean you’re free fer tha rest of tha evening then?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Good,” Blueish-green eyes twinkled. “How do you feel about sports bars?”
**********
“Doyle?”
“Yeah Xander.”
“Is your apartment gonna spin like the hallway does?”
The half-demon gave his inebriated new friend a pat on the arm. “Let’s see
when we get in there.” He said as he fumbled with his keys.
Xander nodded then clutched the doorframe for support as his world skewed
even more.
“This is bad.” The teen said as he was ushered into Doyle’s apartment.
“What?” Doyle fervently tried to remember if the young man possessed any
special powers. It would have been just his luck to be thinking not so pure
thoughts about a mindreader.
“Drinking. Bad things happen when you drink.”
“Oh, that.” Relief rang plainly in his voice. “Believe you me, I’ve got
plenty of Advil on hand.”
“No, no. Evil things happen. Like spells and cavemen.”
Doyle arched an eyebrow. “O-kay.”
“Trust me, drinking is almost as bad as having sex. Everything just turns
into one big evil mess.”
“Un huh.” Doyle said absently. The utterance of the act he had begun to
hope the night would cumulate in had shot his attention span to hell. He
did, however, find himself able to focus on the movements of the mortal’s
lips and the thoughts of where those lips could be moving. The half-demon
resolutely decided it was now or never time, and he had had far too many nevers
recently.
“What about having sex when you’re drunk?” Doyle mentally kicked himself
for letting the timbre of his voice get so low.
Xander stared at the older man, eyes wide wide. “Drunken sex! You might
as well just reserve your spot in the morgue.” He gave the other man a funny
look. “Why?”
“Oh, no particular reason. Just wondern’.” Doyle tried to slow his breathing.
With a nonverbal ‘what the hell’ he continued. “Actually, the reason I
asked was because I find myself with a complete compulsion to kiss that beautiful
mouth of yours.”
Xander waited while his brain processed this information. After a few beats
he frowned. “So why don’t you?”
“Fear of retribution?”
Boldened by his first true meeting with liquid courage Xander moved closer
to the older man. “Is that always a bad thing?”
Doyle found himself unable to answer as his mouth was instantly and thoroughly
covered by Xander’s lips. Coherent thought was lost in the messy jumble
of emotions and flailing limbs, the latter overwhelmed by the desire to touch
every inch of the other man’s skin.
Tongues met hesitantly, then retracted and met again, pulled together by
insatiable lust and want. As much as the older man craved to wholly let go
and ride whatever wave he would find himself on that night, something unrelentingly
nagged at the back of his mind. It seemed his conscience was not as easily
distracted as the rest of him.
“Wait, wait, stop.” With willpower he didn’t know he possessed Doyle pulled
himself away from the warmth of the other man’s body.
Xander failed miserably at containing the dejected expression on his face.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No! God no.” Doyle ran a shaky hand through his thick, dark hair. “It’s
just. . .”
“What?”
“Um, there’s something ya need ta know, before. . . well before we go any
further.”
The teen fidgeted as he tried to pay attention to what the older man was
saying. All he wanted was to feel more of that soft flesh under his hands.
Doyle cleared his throat, his pale blue eyes focusing on everything but the
passion darkened brown ones of the boy in front of him. “Uh, see. . . tha
truth of tha matter is that. . . well basically. . . “
“Doyle.” Xander’s voice was strained. “I really want you, so could you
hurry it up?”
“I’m half demon!” Doyle blurted out.
Xander’s expression immediately became guarded, his body tensed. “Let me
guess, you’ve killed a bunch of people.”
Doyle flinched slightly. “No.”
“You’re going to kill a bunch of people.”
“No.”
The teen frowned. “Then what’s the big?”
“Huh?” Shock showed openly on Doyle’s features. “You’re not repulsed?”
Xander let out a small chuckle. “Doyle, sometime that’s not now, remind me
to tell you about my date for the Senior prom.” He leaned in and placed soft
kisses around the older man’s mouth. “But for the sometime that is now,
let’s not do anymore talking.”
With silent assent Doyle’s hands rose and grasped Xander’s head bringing
that hot, moist mouth back in contact with his own and no words were spoken
for the rest of the night.
**********
Angel closed the gate to the elevator with unnecessary force and began his
morning assent to the office. He was tired of trying to shake the melancholic
mood that so often accompanied a visit from Buffy. The fact that the slayer
was still in town didn’t help.
When Angel had learned that Buffy and Willow couldn’t find Xander he had
been worried. He honestly didn’t know if the teen could handle Los Angeles
nightlife. When they had found the note from Doyle explaining Xander was
currently being shown the town with him Angel had been relieved, until Buffy
had asked in a cloying voice where she and Willow were going to stay that
night.
She had flatly refused to let Angel pay for a hotel room and the vampire was
ready to have a breakdown when he was saved by the arrival of his quasi-secratary.
Angel thanked every deity that he knew of when Cordelia had offered to house
Willow and Buffy for the night. Of course offered wasn’t the right word,
relented, yes that would do. Cordy relented, after making the vampire plead,
beg and basically grovel at her recently manicured feet, but anything was
better then the alternative.
Even simple conversations with Buffy had devolved into being either tense
or tear filled, but they were always painful. The vampire was certain if
she had tried to stay the night in his apartment he would have been dust by
morning, either by her hand or his own.
Buffy and Willow had gone home with Cordelia and once again, the vampire was
left alone to wallow in his self imposed misery. Everyone, including himself,
knew that that was what he really wanted. Then again, if that was true why
had Angel found himself periodically cursing Xander, Doyle, and any of the
various strip clubs they had most likely found themselves in last night.
Angel sighed as he finally got out of the stopped elevator. He knew exactly
why he was upset. It was why he had really left Sunnydale. Just when he
though he had gotten over his forbidden little crush, something would happen
to send him hurtling back to that lust-filled place of his own personal hell.
It wasn’t meant to be. It could never be. He repeated that mantra in his
head as he mentally prepared himself to face emotional agony again.
Angel stood in the center of the waiting room and lightly sniffed the air.
He sighed again as he recognized the two scent signatures he had been hoping
not to find. He walked out into the hallway never imagining the surprise
that was waiting for him.
“Ugh, Angel. Weren't ya supposed ta remind me ta never drink again.” The
Irish half demon was leaning against the wall, his head grasped firmly in
his hands.
“I would have if I had known where you were going.” Angel said dryly.
Doyle, sensing hostility, gave the vampire a puzzled look. “What’s your
problem?”
“Nothing. Where’s Xander?”
“Oh, he’s gettin breakfast from tha diner cross tha street.”
“No he’s not. He’s here, I can smell him.”
Angel frowned as he watched an ‘oh shit’ look pass over Doyle’s face. He
was about to ask another question when everything clicked into place. The
vampire’s eyes widened with shock as he realized that the scents he were
smelling weren’t Xander’s *and* Doyle’s but Xander’s *on* Doyle.
**********
“Angel, man, it’s not what ya think.” Doyle said desperately.
“You. . . and. . . Xander. . .” The vampire tried vainly to make a coherent
sentence.
“Okay, it probably is what ya think, but, hey I don have ta explain this
ta you. You’re not tha boss a me. . . Well, okay so technically you are
tha boss a me but. . .”
“Doyle!” Angel held up a head hoping the half demon would get the hint and
stop talking. “I don’t believe this! How could you do this, Xander’s just
a kid.”
“He is not! We’re both adults and as a vampire I don think your in a particularly
good place ta put forth any moral arguments.”
“Oh, so what, you met him yesterday and you already know everything about
him.” The vampire fought desperately to control his temper.
“Not everything but I know enough.” Doyle put a hand to his forehead as
a pain shot through his skull. In a softer voice he continued. “I know he
was feelin lonely an dejected. I took him out ta cheer him up a bit, an
things. . . happened. It’s not like I planned anything.”
“Oh, I’m sure that will go over real well when the regret sets in.”
“I don have any regrets Angel.”
“I wasn’t talking about you.”
Doyle frowned as he tried to understand his friend’s mood. “Look, tha only
regret Xander may have is underestimating his tolerance fer liquor.”
“So that’s what happened. You got him drunk, well that certainly shouldn’t
come as a surprise.”
Doyle flinched at the venom coming from the older man. “What is your problem?
I thought you two were supposed ta hate oh my god you’re jealous.”
“Jealous?! Hah, that’s a laugh.” Angel let out a humorless chuckle to illustrate
his point. “Who exactly would I be jealous of?”
“Me. Because a Xander.”
“You? Believe me Doyle, if you really want Xander Harris, you’re more then
welcome to him. I don’t know what I was thinking raising any objections,
you two are perfect for each other.” Angel crossed his arms over his chest,
hoping desperately that he had convinced the younger man.
Doyle paused for a moment, quickly taking stock of the situation. He wanted
the truth from the vampire and it that meant pushing a few of Angel’s buttons,
so be it.
“I do want him. So he’s a bit immature at times, he’s still a teenager, he’ll
grow out a that.” Blueish green eyes narrowed as he watched muscles silently
work along the vampire’s jaw line. “You wouldn't believe how good a kisser
he is.” The smaller man continued. “That mouth a his is so soft, and that
body! He may wear baggy clothes but that boy’s all muscle. Then, of course,
there is that perfect, tight, ass. . .” Doyle’s world suddenly spun and
the next thing he knew he was pinned against a wall by a very angry Angel
in full gameface.
All pretense of civility disappeared as the vampire snarled at his struggling
captive. “You don’t deserve him.”
Doyle felt true fear pool in the pit of his stomach as the yellow eyes of
the demon bored into his soul. “You love him.” His voice was small and shaky
but sure.
Angel tightened his hold on the half demon’s throat. “You shouldn’t have
touched him.” The vampire tried desperately to contain his rage. Doyle was
a friend, he told himself. Doyle was a good friend. Doyle was a good friend
who had dared touch his Xander. And the rage boiled over but before he could
do something everyone would regret the third person in the triangle intervened.
Angel howled in pain as a crucifix suddenly slammed down on his hand. The
vampire had been so preoccupied he hadn’t even noticed when Xander had entered
the office.
“Get the hell away from him.” The teen yelled, still brandishing the cross.
“Xander, wait. . .” Doyle rubbed the bruised flesh around his neck.
“He’s evil again.” Xander insisted.
Angel was surprised just how much his heart dropped at those simple words.
“I’m not evil.” He whispered cradling his injured hand.
“Oh, right. So you were just going to rip his throat out in a nice friendly
way?”
“Xander, pu tha cross down.” Doyle put a restraining hand on the boy’s arm.
“Angel’s not evil, we just had a little argument about something. Things
got out a hand.”
The teenager turned back to him. He gently stroked Doyle’s cheek. “Are
you okay?”
The pure concern in Xander’s voice reamed another hole in the vampire’s heart.
Without a second glance at the obviously loving couple, Angel retreated to
his apartment.
**********
With a shaking hand Angel retrieved the medical kit he kept under the sink.
It took a few minutes before his normally adapt fingers were able to remove
the cap from the small tube of topical ointment.
Angel winced as the cool cream came in contact with his burned flesh. The
physical pain was bearable but the emotional pain would most likely last
several centuries. Doyle might forgive him in time, but the vampire knew
any relationship he may have had with Xander was lost forever. Trust was
a delicate thing and the boy’s trust in him had already been shattered once,
it would not be rebuilt again.
But maybe that would be a good thing. After all that was why he had left
Sunnydale, to remove himself from the temptation. If Xander hated him again
he would avoid the vampire like the plague. It would be easier that way.
Angel’s body tensed when he heard the sound of the elevator. He idly wondered
if someone was coming down to put him out of his misery. No, he thought
to himself, he wasn’t that lucky. Angel slumped into one of the kitchen
chairs and waited for the confrontation.
The vampire heard the gate being opened and soft footsteps coming into his
apartment. “I guess I owe you an apology.” Angel’s jaw dropped slightly
at the sound of Xander’s voice.
The teenager walked around the table and dropped into the seat beside Angel.
“Here, let me do that.” Xander said as he took the ointment and began to
gently apply it to the cross shaped burn.
Angel was speechless as he watched the younger man work. he finally found
his voice and could have punched himself for the words that worked their
way out. “You’re not going to finish the job.”
“I was thinking about it.” Xander said, still concentrating on Angel’s hand.
“But Doyle convinced me that it was easier keeping you around then trying
to find him another job.”
The weirdness of the situation hit Angel hard. Xander wasn’t trying to kill
him, he was making jokes. The look on his face wasn’t angry or hateful, just
pensive. Angel was unwilling reminded of an old movie he had seen years ago,
something about pods. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn’t hear
Xander’s question. “Huh?” Was his articulate response.
“I asked what the argument was about?”
Angel stared blankly at him. “Argument?”
“Doyle said you and he had an argument. I was just wondering what got you
mad enough to go all Grrr on him.”
Angel thought for a moment, wondering how much the half demon had already
told the boy. “He took something of mine.”
“I didn’t think you were the possessive type.” Xander remarked.
“It was something very important.” Angel suddenly found the the top of the
table extremely interesting.
“Oh.” The teen had gotten out a strip of bandages and was now wrapping the
vampire’s hand. “Refresh my memory, when exactly did I belong to you?”
Angel’s head snapped up and he met Xander’s wide brown eyes. He had expected
anger but instead found a kind of calm acceptance. Doyle was right, this
was no kid, at least not anymore.
“Uh. . .” Angel tried to swallow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
Xander’s eyes narrowed. “Is that how we’re gonna play this?”
Angel didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. Xander had finished bandaging the
vampire’s hand but he hadn’t released it. It felt like tiny sparks were emanating
from the mortal’s skin. Maybe it was time for the truth, maybe it was time
for everything to be laid out in the open. Angel knew that this wasn’t the
same immature sixteen-year-old he used to know. Maybe this Xander could
handle it.
Xander finally broke the tense silence. “Not that it’s any of your business,
but nothing happened.”
“What?”
“Between me and Doyle. I mean we kissed and groped and stuff, and then we
kinda. . . passed out.”
Angel thought about this for a moment. “Oh.”
“Not that it’s any of your business.” Xander said again.
“Then why did you tell me?”
“Why did you go after Doyle?”
“I asked you first.”
“Answer mine and I’ll answer yours.”
“I think you already know my answer Xander.”
“Maybe. Maybe I just want to hear you *say* it.”
Angel sighed and wondered if anyone bothered to listen to prayers from creatures
like him. “I couldn’t stand the thought that he had. . .”
“What? Had me before you did?”
“Yeah.” Angel bowed his head.
“So you attacked one of the few friends you have because you were upset because
you weren’t the first man I had a sexual encounter with?”
The vampire flinched slightly.
“Uh huh. Would it make you feel better if you knew Doyle wasn’t my first
either?”
“What!” Of all the things the vampire had expected to hear, that was not
one of them.
Xander took a deep breath. Pain briefly flashed over his features. “His
name was Larry. We had a . . . thing the summer before Senior year. Buffy
was gone, no one knew what had happened to you, and Giles and Willow were
still pretty much . . . broken, I needed someone and Larry was there for
me.”
“Oh.” Jealousy surged through the vampire at the thought of this faceless
person comforting Xander.
“You never knew him, did you?”
Angel slowly shook his head, suddenly realizing Xander had been talking about
this mystery person in the past tense.
“That’s a shame. He was a nice guy.”
“What happened?” Angel’s voice was soft as he ached for the haunted look
in the younger man’s eyes.
“Graduation.” The boy absently reached up and wiped the wetness from his
eyes.
Angel’s uninjured hand reached out and cupped the young mortal’s face, lifting
it gently. “I am sorry.” He knew intimately the pain that came with losing
a loved one.
“Thanks.” Xander’s smile was a genuine one that Angel felt to his bones.
His smile disappeared as he pressed his cheek into Angel’s palm. Do you
know what I truly hated about my relationship with Larry?”
Angel could only shake his head as an answer.
“No one ever knew. I was so afraid of what other people would think about
me, what they would say about me, that I made him keep it a secret. I loved
him, but I never told anyone because I was too scared.” Xander frowned slightly.
“I think Willow figured it out though. After I found out he was. . .gone,
I kinda fell into a depression. Willow came by every day, I think she figured
it out.” Xander said again, his eyes clouded over with unpleasant memories.
Angel’s thumb had begun to rub little circles over Xander’s cheek. Protectiveness
surged through him. The only thing he wanted at that moment was to alleviate
some of the younger man’s pain.
Xander’s eyes cleared and he snapped back to the present. He moved his head
and Angel’s immediately withdrew his hand. “In case you were wondering, all
this does have a point.” Xander stared hard at the vampire. “I’m tired Angel,
tired of being afraid to rock the boat, tired of bending my will to suit
the complications in my life, and most of all I’m tired of lies, both giving
and receiving them. I’m going to ask you some questions and I want the truth.
Not some complicated thing that would take me a week to decipher, but the
simple, absolute truth. Understand?”
Angel nodded once all the while maintaining contact with the younger man’s
deep brown eyes.
“Good. What do you want from me?”
Before he could stop himself Angel said. “Is it too cliched to say I want
you?”
“Why?”
“The absolute truth?” At Xander’s nod Angel steeled himself. “Because you’re
mine. You have been since the moment I saw you.”
Xander eyes widened, then rolled in his head. “Oh great, this is some kind
of freaky vampire thing isn’t it?”
“Partly, yes.” Angel admitted. “Vampires are pack creatures. We’re all
fiercely protective and loyal to our surrogate families. When I came to
Sunnydale I had been souled for about eighty years, that’s a long time for
a vampire to be alone, so when I met Buffy and saw the little group she had
gathered around her I decided to. . .”
“Adopt us?” Xander offered.
Angel gave the teen a smile. “Yeah. It was nice to belong to something again,
even if most of it was just pretend. I used to follow you and Willow home
at night, just to make sure you got there safely.”
Surprise showed on Xander’s face. “I never knew.”
“You weren’t supposed to.” Angel chided gently.
“I was attracted to you the first time I saw you. You were truly beautiful
Xander, you still are.” Angel smiled at the blush which had swept over the
mortal’s cheeks. “I should have left then and there, but I thought I could
control myself, and I did, until I got to know you. Every part of me wanted
you. Not just the man, but the demon also. Every waking hour was filled
with the need to possess you, and it scared the shit out of me.”
“I was so stupid. I was convinced that my soul made the demon and I two
separate beings locked in the same body. I was wrong. I’m not human any
more, I never will be again. The demon is as much a part of me as my soul
is.”
“But, back then I was in denial, I thought that anything that would make
my demon happy was wrong. That’s why I got involved with Buffy, my demon
hates her.” Xander cocked an eyebrow at the smirk firmly plastered on Angel’s
face. With a slight cough the vampire’s face was back to it’s normal languidness.
“Okay, I think I get all that,” Xander said. “But I thought Buffy was your
true love. I mean, that is why you lost your soul when you and her did.
. .uh, you know, *it*.”
“No.” Angel shook his head. “After I got back from hell Willow showed me
the transcripts of what. . .Jenny had found. I didn’t lose my soul because
I had a moment of true happiness, I lost it because I denied myself true happiness.”
The vampire smiled at Xander’s confused expression. “I know, I had to go
over the whole spell a few times before I finally got it. The gypsies who
had cursed me were not a malicious tribe, they wanted me to be penitent for
my crimes but they also wanted me to forgive myself. I didn’t sleep with
Buffy because I was looking for happiness, just the opposite. I thought
I deserved to be miserable. That night was kind of the straw that broke
the camel’s back, the spell wasn’t designed to take that much sorrow.”
Xander slowly processed all of this. “So, why did you and her get back together?
Why didn’t Willow say anything?”
Now it was Angel’s turn to roll his eyes. “Come on Xan, you’ve seen Buffy’s
bad side, it’s not a great place to be. It was just easier to play along.
I figured after a while she would get tired of the whole masochistic thing
and move on.” Angel frowned. “I don’t see how she does it, the girl seems
to thrive on emotional pain.” He shrugged. “Anyway, I broke first. I told
her it was over and I left.”
“You should have said goodbye.” Xander said solemnly.
“Buffy and I had already said our goodbyes.”
“I wasn’t talking about Buffy.” The teen focused on Angel’s pale face.
“I deserved one too.”
“I didn’t think you cared.” Angel said honestly.
“You were wrong.”
“I didn’t think you cared.” The vampire said again, his voice close to a
whisper.
“I know we weren’t bestest friends, but come on, that was as much you as
me.” Xander said, trying to lift the melancholy mood that had descended upon
them.
“I thought it would be safer that way.” Angel admitted. “You know, maybe
if I kept you at arms length I wouldn’t be. . . tempted.”
“I’m not at arms length anymore.” Xander said softly.
“No, no you’re not.”
Xander suddenly slid off his chair and kneeled on the linoleum in front of
Angel. “So, if I understood you right, the only way for your soul to stay
permanently anchored is if you stay happy?”
“Yes.” Angel shivered as the teenager’s hands planted themselves on the
vampire’s upper thighs.
“Do I make you happy Angel?” The beginnings of a smile tugged at the corner
of Xander’s mouth.
“Very much so.” Angel knew that if his heart had still been beating it would
have leapt out of his chest by now.
“Would you like to make me happy?” Xander grasped Angel’s injured hand and
gently began to kiss each fingertip.
Part of Angel’s brain wondered if this nineteen-year-old boy had any idea
to what lengths the vampire would go to please him. “Oh yes.” His hips
unconsciously bucked as Xander’s tongue swirled around one finger.
The younger man release the hand and moved upwards toward Angel’s face.
“Would you like to know what would make me happy?”
Angel closed his eyes and nodded. Every nerve was on fire, his dead body
had never felt so alive.
“Doyle. . .”
Angel’s eyes flew open to see the teen’s smirking face just inches from his
own.
“. . . and you.”
The older man blinked. Once again the mortal had managed to surprise him.
“You mean. . . both of us?”
“Uh huh. Of course I don’t know if your bed can hold three people.”
“I was thinking of getting a new one anyway.”
Xander grinned as he leaned in and pressed his mouth against Angel’s. The
vampire wrapped his arms around the younger man and held him close, each
little movement sending a spark running through him. After a while they
broke apart, Xander needed breath and Angel need to ask a nagging question.
“What if Doyle isn’t interested?”
Xander shrugged. “His loss.”
“Definitely.” Angel agreed before pulling the mortal back into his rightful
place, firmly nestled in the vampire's arms.
**********
Sticky
and Sated
Summary: This is Angel’s POV on a Doyle and Xander
induced afterglow
Dedication: This is for Cinder, thanks for the poodle ;)
********************
I’m happy.
It’s still kinda hard for me to wrap my mind around this latest emotional
development.
But, I’m happy.
I’m also imbued with this irrational need to express my happiness in un-me-like
ways. If I wasn’t so elated I might be scared of the urges I’ve been getting.
Urges to sing at the top of my lungs and do a few cartwheels around the
room, of course if I did that Doyle and Xander might get the urge to have
me committed, or at the very least, heavily sedated.
Nope. I’ll just stay right here, thank you very much. Here in my nice, warm,
crowded bed. After all, the absolute last thing I’d want to do is disturb
the two dark haired men who are currently using my body as a pillow.
Xander was right, this bed really wasn’t made for three people. It’s kind
of nice though, in order for us to fit we had to press in together. Xander
on the right, Doyle on the left, and a happy me sandwiched in the middle.
They’re both wrapped around me. Their arms hugging my waist. Their legs
draped over mine. Their heartbeats echoing through me, making me feel more
alive then I have in centuries. . . And I’m smiling again. I just know a
great big goofy grin is plastered on my face and I can’t do a damn thing about
it. I suppose that’s the price I’ll have to pay to stay in this sweaty, euphoric
haven. Oh great, now the muscles in my cheeks are actually starting to hurt.
Okay, I need to calm down. I need to relax and get some rest. Cordy should
be in soon and Buffy and Willow will most likely be with her. I’ll need
energy for that conversation.
‘Oh, hey Buffy. Yeah, Xander’s here. No, he’s not going back to Sunnydale
with you. Why? Well, Doyle and I have discovered the joys of threesomes
and we’re keeping Xander chained to my bed for the foreseeable future. Would
you like some coffee?’
Oh yeah, that’ll go over well.
Maybe I’ll just tell her the truth. How Xander and I talked, finally airing
out the problems that have plagued us for four years, and how we then decided
to celebrate by grabbing Doyle and jumping into the nearest available bed.
Right, and I’m sure I’ll be perfectly happy in my new home, the slightly
used bag of a Hoover.
It’s not going to be easy explaining this to her, especially since I’m having
more then a little trouble excepting that it all actually happened.
Me, Xander and Doyle.
A vampire, a human, and a half demon. It sounds like a set up to a truly
God awful joke, but it’s not. It’s not a joke, or a dream, or one of those
particularly nice fantasies I sometimes get in the shower, it’s reality,
one which bypassed any and all expectations.
The kisses and nips and gentle bites, and the incredibly urgent need to remove
each and every article of clothing. The remarkable want associated with
possessing each new inch of skin with fingers or tongues, or both. Then,
the three of us sliding against one another, thrusting in a rhythm only we
could hear. We weren’t looking for torturous anticipation, just a quick,
primal release. Tenderness and true exploration could wait.
Lips and tongues and teeth danced across flesh as our bodies melded together.
Xander came first, he is only human after all, then Doyle. Their bodies
shuddered violently, against mine triggering my own release. We collapsed
in a tangled, undignified heap, no one wanting to expend the necessary energy
to move.
After a few minutes the satisfied pants gave way to smooth, even breaths and
my new partners fell into a deep, exhaustive sleep. Me, well, I just fell
into a deep thorough. . . contentment.
Contentment, that’s a really good word for this.
I swear I feel like a great big cat just basking in the offered warmth of
my mates. That analogy fits, I think I actually did purr earlier. Thank
you Doyle.
Now, the only sounds I can hear are those made by my lovers. I’m sure living
creatures never know just how noisy they are, even in sleep. The rhythm
of breathing, the steady rush of blood through veins and most importantly,
the cadence of the heartbeat. These wondrous, completely normal sounds have
filled me with a sense of complete and total safety I haven’t felt since I
was. . . human.
I wonder if they know that? If they have any idea what they’ve done to me.
They set me on fire. Each touch, every kiss, every lick, branded me as
their’s and I wonder if they know it? I wonder what they’ll do when they
find out.
No, I’m not going to let myself worry about the future, the present is going
to be hard enough. Another sound has joined those emanating from my lovers.
It’s the elevator.
Well, this should be interesting.
**********
The Mid-Morning After
Summary: Angel, Xander, and Doyle wake
up to a few problems.
***************
As he heard the elevator descend Angel gave a silent thanks that someone
had had the presence of mind to close the doors to his bedroom. Mindful
of his still sleeping lovers the vampire quickly extracted himself from the
covers and threw on a robe. He eased out the door just as Cordelia opened
the grate on the elevator.
"Angel, you're a good friend, but if you *ever* pawn those two off on me
again, I'll stake you myself." The brunette gave him a very put upon sigh.
"Where are they now?" He asked, trying not to let any negativity leak into
his voice.
"Oh, they're upstairs. You know, I almost feel sorry for Xander when he
finally turns up. I don't know what Buffy's planning on doing first - beating
or bitching him to death."
Angel swallowed a growl at that thought. The Slayer wasn't going to get
a chance to do either of those things ever again, not if he had any say in
the matter.
Cordy stepped back, frowned, and gave her boss a once over. "Why aren't
you dressed yet?"
"I, uh. . . overslept."
Cordelia's eyes narrowed slightly, but if she caught the lie she didn't acknowlege
it. "Overslept? Right, whatever. Look, just find Xander so you can send
the three of them back to Sunnydale."
"Back to Sunnydale." Angel repeated fighting to let his face stay passive.
The ex-May queen put her hands on her hips and gave the vampire a hard stare.
"Are you sure you're okay? You know, besides being dead and all?"
"I'm fine Cordelia. Really." Angel gently turned her around and put a hand
on the small of her back. "Go back to the office." He said steering her
towards the stairs. "I'll be up in a few minutes."
"Should I maybe try to call Doyle's place?"
"Yeah, yeah, you do that." Angel watched as the brunette threw him one last
suspicious frown before she walked up the stairs. He waited a few beats
to make sure she was really gone before opening his bedroom door and coming
face to face with his new lovers.
"Ya think she knows?" Doyle spoke first.
"She knows something's up, but I don't even think Cordy suspects anything
like this. I'm just glad she didn't notice the miscellaneous clothing laying
around." Angel said, blatantly watching Xander bend over to retrieve his
jeans.
Doyle nodded, momentarily distracted himself. "I guess we should think up
a good cover story."
The vampire shrugged. "We could just tell them the truth, with the omission
of several obvious parts, like everything that happened down here."
"I don know. From what Cordy said Buffy's already on tha warpath. It probably
wouldn't be healthy fer either a us ta say that tha reason she an Willow
had ta spend tha night in L.A. was because me an Xan got fallin' down drunk."
"Good point." Angel conceded. "We should think up something a little less.
. . alcoholic. What do you think, Xan?" Angel and Doyle turned toward the
third member of their party, who had so far remained silent.
Xander, now fully dressed, was leaning against a brick pillar with his arms
crossed over his chest and a very pissed look on his face. "I think. . .
that when Buffy, Willow and I get back to Sunnydale, *I* am going to tell
them the truth."
Doyle knew the look of shock currently marring his features was mirrored
on Angel's face.
"Don't worry, I won't tell them who my partners were, I'll just make up a
couple names. The two of you will be safe. Nobody'll *suspect* a thing."
The last statement was pure acid as came out of the youth's lips.
Angel cringed. "That's not what I meant."
"It isn't?" Xander cocked his head to the side. "You don't want anyone
to know what happened here, do you?"
Doyle cleared his throat. "I think *we* should try ta figure out what happened
'fore anybody spouts off about it."
Xander snorted. "Funny, I thought I did know what happened since I was there,
but why don't you tell me your version of the events?"
Blue-green eyes narrowed. "Well, they might differ a little since I wasn't
aware that one a my bedmates was such an immature child."
"Enough!" Angel's voice echoed through the apartment. "We don't have time
for this."
Mumbled apologies came from both of the younger men.
"Okay then." The vampire took a deep, albeit unneeded, breath. "Xander,
what brought this on? I told you earlier how I felt about you."
"And I told you earlier about my new no-more-lying philosophy." The mortal
began picking at his pullover. "I'm not ashamed of what we did, and from
the way the two of you were talking, it. . . sounded like you were."
Doyle mentally flinched. He had only know Xander for a short time but the
Irishman had already discovered the mortal boy's painfully fragile self-esteem.
The words he and Angel had used flitted through his mind and the half-demon
did the first thing he could think of to repair the damage.
Doyle strode over to the teenager and immediately swept him into a passionate
kiss. Xander retained his indignation for a brief moment before he returned
the heated embrace.
As his two partners reaffirmed their attraction Angel smirked and realized
that watching Xander and Doyle together was rapidly becoming his second favorite
pastime.
Finally, when lack of oxygen became too essential to ignore, the two men
released each other and drew in ragged breaths. When he got his air intake
under control Doyle firmly grasped Xander's head and stared into the chocolatey
eyes he found there.
"I could never be ashamed a somethin' like that." He said emphatically.
"Are we clear?"
Xander nodded mutely.
"Good." The half-demon gently stroked the mortal's flushed skin. "Believe
me, if I had my way I'd shout from the rooftops about how Xander Harris was
goin' ta spend tha rest a his existence chained ta my bed."
Angel started slightly at that particular admission. With a silent chuckle
the vampire wondered if he and Doyle shared any other thoughts concerning
the delectable mortal boy.
Doyle noted, with some satisfaction, the deep crimson blush that had settled
on Xander's cheeks. "That's what I want ta do. . . but life isn't that simple."
"Then we shouldn't make it even more complex." Xander pulled back slightly.
"That's why I think we should come completely clean with our friends."
He saw the other men open their mouths to protest. "Please, just hear me
out. If what you both said was true, then no one wants what happened this
morning to be just a one time thing. Am I right?"
"As rain." Angel responded.
"Then we all know that it'll be impossible to keep this relationship a secret
forever. The truth is going to come out eventually, and I just think it would
be better to get it out now then later."
"Valid point." Doyle acquiesced. "It's just, we don want your blonde friend
ta come after Angel here wit' anythin' sharp, wooden, an pointy. . . which
is somethin' that could be very detrimental ta our health as well."
"That's why I'm gona wait until we get to Sunnydale to tell them."
Angel frowned. "So, you know how we both feel about you and you've still
decided to go back *there*. . . with *them*."
Much to the vampire's chagrin the boy smiled. "Do you know how adorable
you are when you get all jealous?"
Doyle dimpled at the flustered older man. "He's right you know, completely
adorable."
Angel growled at his two partners, which just made their grins wider.
"Turn off the possessive mode Deadboy." Xander chided. "I'm going to take
them back to Sunnydale and then I'm going to pack a few bags, say goodbye
to a couple people, have a long, emotionally painful, angst filled conversation
with my closest friends, and be back here tomorrow morning." Xander placed
a hand on the back of the vampire's neck and began to gently rub the corded
muscles he found there. "I somewhat agree with Doyle. I don't think telling
Buffy here would be a particularly smart move, not with you so close. But,
I do think that waiting, dragging it out, is only going to make it worse
when she finds out, and like I said before, eventually, that's gonna happen."
"Okay, telling her in Sunnydale might be best for me, but what about you?
I can't protect you there."
"Angel." Xander gave him a light smile. "Buffy isn't gonna hurt me. Oh
sure, there's going to be some yelling, and screaming, and most likely throwing
of things, but she's not going to hurt me."
"How can ya be so sure?" Doyle asked, remembering stories he had heard about
the obsessive slayer.
The teenager shrugged. "She just doesn't feel that strongly enough about
me." He clasped his hands together. "Okay, I think I've made my opinions
on this matter known. Now it's up to you guys, I'll go with whatever you
two decide to do."
Angel and Doyle looked at each other. The half-demon nodded his assent and
Angel turned back to Xander. "All right, you'll tell Buffy and we'll . .
. tell Cordelia."
"Hey!" Doyle exclaimed. "How come he gets tha easy one?"
"'Cause I'm lucky. After all, I got the two of you didn't I?" The teen
batted his thick, dark lashes.
Doyle groaned. "Save me from tha saccharine."
Angel chuckled. "Am I going to have to separate you two?"
"Nah." The mortal glanced at the stairs. "I should go, I think I hear Buffy's
foot tapping." His eyelids drooped slightly as he gave each man a lingering
kiss. "See you soon." It was a promise, not a good bye that he offered
his lovers.
"Be careful Xander." Angel called out, wanting desperately to shake the
melancholic feeling that had descended upon him.
"I always am." Xander said, purposely letting his mouth spread into his
most reckless grin.
Doyle chortled as Angel looked heavenward and sighed. It was going to be
a very long day.
***************
Eventualities
Summary: The truth comes out