Tired of Complications

Summary: Xander goes to L.A., he and Doyle get more than a little friendly and Angel gets more than a little jealous

********************

“So, remind me why we’re here again?”

Willow sighed and glanced at her oldest friend. “Xander, we’re here to offer moral support to Buffy. You know she’s going to be upset after she talks to Angel, even if they are only discussing a new demon.”

The two Slayerettes were currently in the waiting room of Angel Investigations, Xander sprawled out on the couch and Willow behind Cordelia’s desk. The Witch had graciously offered to take over any secretarial duties while the ex-May Queen attended another audition.

“Okay, moral support. That explains why you’re here but what about me?”

“You’re Buffy’s friend too.” The redhead insisted.

“Right, so the fact that, besides Giles, I’m the only one of us with a car had nothing to do with it?” Xander caught the fleeting look of guilt that passed over the witch’s face. “Yeah, I thought so.” There was no hurt or offense in the teen’s voice only a slightly bitter resignation.

“Oh Xander. . .” Willow attempt at comfort was interrupted by a certain vampire slayer barreling out of Angel’s main office. Tears streamed down Buffy’s face as she motioned for Willow to follow her. Xander watched the melodramatic pair make their way out of the building.

“Oh no, I’ll just stay here. Don’t worry about me.” He muttered to himself as he closed the door behind them.

“Nice friends ya got tere.” Xander started slightly at the soft Irish lilt behind him.

“Sorry, didn’t mean ta scare ya.” The dark haired man dimpled at the teen.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it.” Xander answered slowly taking stock of the new arrival.

“Name’s Doyle.”

“Xander.” The boy responded shaking the offered hand.

“So, you’re down here with Buffy and tha redhead?”

“Willow. Yeah, I am.”

“You’re not goin’ after them?”

“They’ll find me when they need a ride home.”

Doyle frowned at the compliant tone of the teenager’s voice. He had heard it before, most recently coming from his own mouth. The half-demon made a firm decision then and there to raise the younger man’s spirits. “Does that mean you’re free fer tha rest of tha evening then?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Good,” Blueish-green eyes twinkled. “How do you feel about sports bars?”

**********

“Doyle?”

“Yeah Xander.”

“Is your apartment gonna spin like the hallway does?”

The half-demon gave his inebriated new friend a pat on the arm. “Let’s see when we get in there.” He said as he fumbled with his keys.

Xander nodded then clutched the doorframe for support as his world skewed even more.

“This is bad.” The teen said as he was ushered into Doyle’s apartment.

“What?” Doyle fervently tried to remember if the young man possessed any special powers. It would have been just his luck to be thinking not so pure thoughts about a mindreader.

“Drinking. Bad things happen when you drink.”

“Oh, that.” Relief rang plainly in his voice. “Believe you me, I’ve got plenty of Advil on hand.”

“No, no. Evil things happen. Like spells and cavemen.”

Doyle arched an eyebrow. “O-kay.”

“Trust me, drinking is almost as bad as having sex. Everything just turns into one big evil mess.”

“Un huh.” Doyle said absently. The utterance of the act he had begun to hope the night would cumulate in had shot his attention span to hell. He did, however, find himself able to focus on the movements of the mortal’s lips and the thoughts of where those lips could be moving. The half-demon resolutely decided it was now or never time, and he had had far too many nevers recently.

“What about having sex when you’re drunk?” Doyle mentally kicked himself for letting the timbre of his voice get so low.

Xander stared at the older man, eyes wide wide. “Drunken sex! You might as well just reserve your spot in the morgue.” He gave the other man a funny look. “Why?”

“Oh, no particular reason. Just wondern’.” Doyle tried to slow his breathing. With a nonverbal ‘what the hell’ he continued. “Actually, the reason I asked was because I find myself with a complete compulsion to kiss that beautiful mouth of yours.”

Xander waited while his brain processed this information. After a few beats he frowned. “So why don’t you?”

“Fear of retribution?”

Boldened by his first true meeting with liquid courage Xander moved closer to the older man. “Is that always a bad thing?”

Doyle found himself unable to answer as his mouth was instantly and thoroughly covered by Xander’s lips. Coherent thought was lost in the messy jumble of emotions and flailing limbs, the latter overwhelmed by the desire to touch every inch of the other man’s skin.

Tongues met hesitantly, then retracted and met again, pulled together by insatiable lust and want. As much as the older man craved to wholly let go and ride whatever wave he would find himself on that night, something unrelentingly nagged at the back of his mind. It seemed his conscience was not as easily distracted as the rest of him.

“Wait, wait, stop.” With willpower he didn’t know he possessed Doyle pulled himself away from the warmth of the other man’s body.

Xander failed miserably at containing the dejected expression on his face. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No! God no.” Doyle ran a shaky hand through his thick, dark hair. “It’s just. . .”

“What?”

“Um, there’s something ya need ta know, before. . . well before we go any further.”

The teen fidgeted as he tried to pay attention to what the older man was saying. All he wanted was to feel more of that soft flesh under his hands.

Doyle cleared his throat, his pale blue eyes focusing on everything but the passion darkened brown ones of the boy in front of him. “Uh, see. . . tha truth of tha matter is that. . . well basically. . . “

“Doyle.” Xander’s voice was strained. “I really want you, so could you hurry it up?”

“I’m half demon!” Doyle blurted out.

Xander’s expression immediately became guarded, his body tensed. “Let me guess, you’ve killed a bunch of people.”

Doyle flinched slightly. “No.”

“You’re going to kill a bunch of people.”

“No.”

The teen frowned. “Then what’s the big?”

“Huh?” Shock showed openly on Doyle’s features. “You’re not repulsed?”

Xander let out a small chuckle. “Doyle, sometime that’s not now, remind me to tell you about my date for the Senior prom.” He leaned in and placed soft kisses around the older man’s mouth. “But for the sometime that is now, let’s not do anymore talking.”

With silent assent Doyle’s hands rose and grasped Xander’s head bringing that hot, moist mouth back in contact with his own and no words were spoken for the rest of the night.

**********

Angel closed the gate to the elevator with unnecessary force and began his morning assent to the office. He was tired of trying to shake the melancholic mood that so often accompanied a visit from Buffy. The fact that the slayer was still in town didn’t help.

When Angel had learned that Buffy and Willow couldn’t find Xander he had been worried. He honestly didn’t know if the teen could handle Los Angeles nightlife. When they had found the note from Doyle explaining Xander was currently being shown the town with him Angel had been relieved, until Buffy had asked in a cloying voice where she and Willow were going to stay that night.

She had flatly refused to let Angel pay for a hotel room and the vampire was ready to have a breakdown when he was saved by the arrival of his quasi-secratary.

Angel thanked every deity that he knew of when Cordelia had offered to house Willow and Buffy for the night. Of course offered wasn’t the right word, relented, yes that would do. Cordy relented, after making the vampire plead, beg and basically grovel at her recently manicured feet, but anything was better then the alternative.

Even simple conversations with Buffy had devolved into being either tense or tear filled, but they were always painful. The vampire was certain if she had tried to stay the night in his apartment he would have been dust by morning, either by her hand or his own.

Buffy and Willow had gone home with Cordelia and once again, the vampire was left alone to wallow in his self imposed misery. Everyone, including himself, knew that that was what he really wanted. Then again, if that was true why had Angel found himself periodically cursing Xander, Doyle, and any of the various strip clubs they had most likely found themselves in last night.

Angel sighed as he finally got out of the stopped elevator. He knew exactly why he was upset. It was why he had really left Sunnydale. Just when he though he had gotten over his forbidden little crush, something would happen to send him hurtling back to that lust-filled place of his own personal hell.

It wasn’t meant to be. It could never be. He repeated that mantra in his head as he mentally prepared himself to face emotional agony again.

Angel stood in the center of the waiting room and lightly sniffed the air. He sighed again as he recognized the two scent signatures he had been hoping not to find. He walked out into the hallway never imagining the surprise that was waiting for him.

“Ugh, Angel. Weren't ya supposed ta remind me ta never drink again.” The Irish half demon was leaning against the wall, his head grasped firmly in his hands.

“I would have if I had known where you were going.” Angel said dryly.

Doyle, sensing hostility, gave the vampire a puzzled look. “What’s your problem?”

“Nothing. Where’s Xander?”

“Oh, he’s gettin breakfast from tha diner cross tha street.”

“No he’s not. He’s here, I can smell him.”

Angel frowned as he watched an ‘oh shit’ look pass over Doyle’s face. He was about to ask another question when everything clicked into place. The vampire’s eyes widened with shock as he realized that the scents he were smelling weren’t Xander’s *and* Doyle’s but Xander’s *on* Doyle.

**********

“Angel, man, it’s not what ya think.” Doyle said desperately.

“You. . . and. . . Xander. . .” The vampire tried vainly to make a coherent sentence.

“Okay, it probably is what ya think, but, hey I don have ta explain this ta you. You’re not tha boss a me. . . Well, okay so technically you are tha boss a me but. . .”

“Doyle!” Angel held up a head hoping the half demon would get the hint and stop talking. “I don’t believe this! How could you do this, Xander’s just a kid.”

“He is not! We’re both adults and as a vampire I don think your in a particularly good place ta put forth any moral arguments.”

“Oh, so what, you met him yesterday and you already know everything about him.” The vampire fought desperately to control his temper.

“Not everything but I know enough.” Doyle put a hand to his forehead as a pain shot through his skull. In a softer voice he continued. “I know he was feelin lonely an dejected. I took him out ta cheer him up a bit, an things. . . happened. It’s not like I planned anything.”

“Oh, I’m sure that will go over real well when the regret sets in.”

“I don have any regrets Angel.”

“I wasn’t talking about you.”

Doyle frowned as he tried to understand his friend’s mood. “Look, tha only regret Xander may have is underestimating his tolerance fer liquor.”

“So that’s what happened. You got him drunk, well that certainly shouldn’t come as a surprise.”

Doyle flinched at the venom coming from the older man. “What is your problem? I thought you two were supposed ta hate oh my god you’re jealous.”

“Jealous?! Hah, that’s a laugh.” Angel let out a humorless chuckle to illustrate his point. “Who exactly would I be jealous of?”

“Me. Because a Xander.”

“You? Believe me Doyle, if you really want Xander Harris, you’re more then welcome to him. I don’t know what I was thinking raising any objections, you two are perfect for each other.” Angel crossed his arms over his chest, hoping desperately that he had convinced the younger man.

Doyle paused for a moment, quickly taking stock of the situation. He wanted the truth from the vampire and it that meant pushing a few of Angel’s buttons, so be it.

“I do want him. So he’s a bit immature at times, he’s still a teenager, he’ll grow out a that.” Blueish green eyes narrowed as he watched muscles silently work along the vampire’s jaw line. “You wouldn't believe how good a kisser he is.” The smaller man continued. “That mouth a his is so soft, and that body! He may wear baggy clothes but that boy’s all muscle. Then, of course, there is that perfect, tight, ass. . .” Doyle’s world suddenly spun and the next thing he knew he was pinned against a wall by a very angry Angel in full gameface.

All pretense of civility disappeared as the vampire snarled at his struggling captive. “You don’t deserve him.”

Doyle felt true fear pool in the pit of his stomach as the yellow eyes of the demon bored into his soul. “You love him.” His voice was small and shaky but sure.

Angel tightened his hold on the half demon’s throat. “You shouldn’t have touched him.” The vampire tried desperately to contain his rage. Doyle was a friend, he told himself. Doyle was a good friend. Doyle was a good friend who had dared touch his Xander. And the rage boiled over but before he could do something everyone would regret the third person in the triangle intervened.

Angel howled in pain as a crucifix suddenly slammed down on his hand. The vampire had been so preoccupied he hadn’t even noticed when Xander had entered the office.

“Get the hell away from him.” The teen yelled, still brandishing the cross.

“Xander, wait. . .” Doyle rubbed the bruised flesh around his neck.

“He’s evil again.” Xander insisted.

Angel was surprised just how much his heart dropped at those simple words. “I’m not evil.” He whispered cradling his injured hand.

“Oh, right. So you were just going to rip his throat out in a nice friendly way?”

“Xander, pu tha cross down.” Doyle put a restraining hand on the boy’s arm. “Angel’s not evil, we just had a little argument about something. Things got out a hand.”

The teenager turned back to him. He gently stroked Doyle’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

The pure concern in Xander’s voice reamed another hole in the vampire’s heart. Without a second glance at the obviously loving couple, Angel retreated to his apartment.

**********

With a shaking hand Angel retrieved the medical kit he kept under the sink. It took a few minutes before his normally adapt fingers were able to remove the cap from the small tube of topical ointment.

Angel winced as the cool cream came in contact with his burned flesh. The physical pain was bearable but the emotional pain would most likely last several centuries. Doyle might forgive him in time, but the vampire knew any relationship he may have had with Xander was lost forever. Trust was a delicate thing and the boy’s trust in him had already been shattered once, it would not be rebuilt again.

But maybe that would be a good thing. After all that was why he had left Sunnydale, to remove himself from the temptation. If Xander hated him again he would avoid the vampire like the plague. It would be easier that way.

Angel’s body tensed when he heard the sound of the elevator. He idly wondered if someone was coming down to put him out of his misery. No, he thought to himself, he wasn’t that lucky. Angel slumped into one of the kitchen chairs and waited for the confrontation.

The vampire heard the gate being opened and soft footsteps coming into his apartment. “I guess I owe you an apology.” Angel’s jaw dropped slightly at the sound of Xander’s voice.

The teenager walked around the table and dropped into the seat beside Angel. “Here, let me do that.” Xander said as he took the ointment and began to gently apply it to the cross shaped burn.

Angel was speechless as he watched the younger man work. he finally found his voice and could have punched himself for the words that worked their way out. “You’re not going to finish the job.”

“I was thinking about it.” Xander said, still concentrating on Angel’s hand. “But Doyle convinced me that it was easier keeping you around then trying to find him another job.”

The weirdness of the situation hit Angel hard. Xander wasn’t trying to kill him, he was making jokes. The look on his face wasn’t angry or hateful, just pensive. Angel was unwilling reminded of an old movie he had seen years ago, something about pods. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn’t hear Xander’s question. “Huh?” Was his articulate response.

“I asked what the argument was about?”

Angel stared blankly at him. “Argument?”

“Doyle said you and he had an argument. I was just wondering what got you mad enough to go all Grrr on him.”

Angel thought for a moment, wondering how much the half demon had already told the boy. “He took something of mine.”

“I didn’t think you were the possessive type.” Xander remarked.

“It was something very important.” Angel suddenly found the the top of the table extremely interesting.

“Oh.” The teen had gotten out a strip of bandages and was now wrapping the vampire’s hand. “Refresh my memory, when exactly did I belong to you?”

Angel’s head snapped up and he met Xander’s wide brown eyes. He had expected anger but instead found a kind of calm acceptance. Doyle was right, this was no kid, at least not anymore.

“Uh. . .” Angel tried to swallow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

Xander’s eyes narrowed. “Is that how we’re gonna play this?”

Angel didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. Xander had finished bandaging the vampire’s hand but he hadn’t released it. It felt like tiny sparks were emanating from the mortal’s skin. Maybe it was time for the truth, maybe it was time for everything to be laid out in the open. Angel knew that this wasn’t the same immature sixteen-year-old he used to know. Maybe this Xander could handle it.

Xander finally broke the tense silence. “Not that it’s any of your business, but nothing happened.”

“What?”

“Between me and Doyle. I mean we kissed and groped and stuff, and then we kinda. . . passed out.”

Angel thought about this for a moment. “Oh.”

“Not that it’s any of your business.” Xander said again.

“Then why did you tell me?”

“Why did you go after Doyle?”

“I asked you first.”

“Answer mine and I’ll answer yours.”

“I think you already know my answer Xander.”

“Maybe. Maybe I just want to hear you *say* it.”

Angel sighed and wondered if anyone bothered to listen to prayers from creatures like him. “I couldn’t stand the thought that he had. . .”

“What? Had me before you did?”

“Yeah.” Angel bowed his head.

“So you attacked one of the few friends you have because you were upset because you weren’t the first man I had a sexual encounter with?”

The vampire flinched slightly.

“Uh huh. Would it make you feel better if you knew Doyle wasn’t my first either?”

“What!” Of all the things the vampire had expected to hear, that was not one of them.

Xander took a deep breath. Pain briefly flashed over his features. “His name was Larry. We had a . . . thing the summer before Senior year. Buffy was gone, no one knew what had happened to you, and Giles and Willow were still pretty much . . . broken, I needed someone and Larry was there for me.”

“Oh.” Jealousy surged through the vampire at the thought of this faceless person comforting Xander.

“You never knew him, did you?”

Angel slowly shook his head, suddenly realizing Xander had been talking about this mystery person in the past tense.

“That’s a shame. He was a nice guy.”

“What happened?” Angel’s voice was soft as he ached for the haunted look in the younger man’s eyes.

“Graduation.” The boy absently reached up and wiped the wetness from his eyes.

Angel’s uninjured hand reached out and cupped the young mortal’s face, lifting it gently. “I am sorry.” He knew intimately the pain that came with losing a loved one.

“Thanks.” Xander’s smile was a genuine one that Angel felt to his bones. His smile disappeared as he pressed his cheek into Angel’s palm. Do you know what I truly hated about my relationship with Larry?”

Angel could only shake his head as an answer.

“No one ever knew. I was so afraid of what other people would think about me, what they would say about me, that I made him keep it a secret. I loved him, but I never told anyone because I was too scared.” Xander frowned slightly. “I think Willow figured it out though. After I found out he was. . .gone, I kinda fell into a depression. Willow came by every day, I think she figured it out.” Xander said again, his eyes clouded over with unpleasant memories.

Angel’s thumb had begun to rub little circles over Xander’s cheek. Protectiveness surged through him. The only thing he wanted at that moment was to alleviate some of the younger man’s pain.

Xander’s eyes cleared and he snapped back to the present. He moved his head and Angel’s immediately withdrew his hand. “In case you were wondering, all this does have a point.” Xander stared hard at the vampire. “I’m tired Angel, tired of being afraid to rock the boat, tired of bending my will to suit the complications in my life, and most of all I’m tired of lies, both giving and receiving them. I’m going to ask you some questions and I want the truth. Not some complicated thing that would take me a week to decipher, but the simple, absolute truth. Understand?”

Angel nodded once all the while maintaining contact with the younger man’s deep brown eyes.

“Good. What do you want from me?”

Before he could stop himself Angel said. “Is it too cliched to say I want you?”

“Why?”

“The absolute truth?” At Xander’s nod Angel steeled himself. “Because you’re mine. You have been since the moment I saw you.”

Xander eyes widened, then rolled in his head. “Oh great, this is some kind of freaky vampire thing isn’t it?”

“Partly, yes.” Angel admitted. “Vampires are pack creatures. We’re all fiercely protective and loyal to our surrogate families. When I came to Sunnydale I had been souled for about eighty years, that’s a long time for a vampire to be alone, so when I met Buffy and saw the little group she had gathered around her I decided to. . .”

“Adopt us?” Xander offered.

Angel gave the teen a smile. “Yeah. It was nice to belong to something again, even if most of it was just pretend. I used to follow you and Willow home at night, just to make sure you got there safely.”

Surprise showed on Xander’s face. “I never knew.”

“You weren’t supposed to.” Angel chided gently.

“I was attracted to you the first time I saw you. You were truly beautiful Xander, you still are.” Angel smiled at the blush which had swept over the mortal’s cheeks. “I should have left then and there, but I thought I could control myself, and I did, until I got to know you. Every part of me wanted you. Not just the man, but the demon also. Every waking hour was filled with the need to possess you, and it scared the shit out of me.”

“I was so stupid. I was convinced that my soul made the demon and I two separate beings locked in the same body. I was wrong. I’m not human any more, I never will be again. The demon is as much a part of me as my soul is.”

“But, back then I was in denial, I thought that anything that would make my demon happy was wrong. That’s why I got involved with Buffy, my demon hates her.” Xander cocked an eyebrow at the smirk firmly plastered on Angel’s face. With a slight cough the vampire’s face was back to it’s normal languidness.

“Okay, I think I get all that,” Xander said. “But I thought Buffy was your true love. I mean, that is why you lost your soul when you and her did. . .uh, you know, *it*.”

“No.” Angel shook his head. “After I got back from hell Willow showed me the transcripts of what. . .Jenny had found. I didn’t lose my soul because I had a moment of true happiness, I lost it because I denied myself true happiness.” The vampire smiled at Xander’s confused expression. “I know, I had to go over the whole spell a few times before I finally got it. The gypsies who had cursed me were not a malicious tribe, they wanted me to be penitent for my crimes but they also wanted me to forgive myself. I didn’t sleep with Buffy because I was looking for happiness, just the opposite. I thought I deserved to be miserable. That night was kind of the straw that broke the camel’s back, the spell wasn’t designed to take that much sorrow.”

Xander slowly processed all of this. “So, why did you and her get back together? Why didn’t Willow say anything?”

Now it was Angel’s turn to roll his eyes. “Come on Xan, you’ve seen Buffy’s bad side, it’s not a great place to be. It was just easier to play along. I figured after a while she would get tired of the whole masochistic thing and move on.” Angel frowned. “I don’t see how she does it, the girl seems to thrive on emotional pain.” He shrugged. “Anyway, I broke first. I told her it was over and I left.”

“You should have said goodbye.” Xander said solemnly.

“Buffy and I had already said our goodbyes.”

“I wasn’t talking about Buffy.” The teen focused on Angel’s pale face. “I deserved one too.”

“I didn’t think you cared.” Angel said honestly.

“You were wrong.”

“I didn’t think you cared.” The vampire said again, his voice close to a whisper.

“I know we weren’t bestest friends, but come on, that was as much you as me.” Xander said, trying to lift the melancholy mood that had descended upon them.

“I thought it would be safer that way.” Angel admitted. “You know, maybe if I kept you at arms length I wouldn’t be. . . tempted.”

“I’m not at arms length anymore.” Xander said softly.

“No, no you’re not.”

Xander suddenly slid off his chair and kneeled on the linoleum in front of Angel. “So, if I understood you right, the only way for your soul to stay permanently anchored is if you stay happy?”

“Yes.” Angel shivered as the teenager’s hands planted themselves on the vampire’s upper thighs.

“Do I make you happy Angel?” The beginnings of a smile tugged at the corner of Xander’s mouth.

“Very much so.” Angel knew that if his heart had still been beating it would have leapt out of his chest by now.

“Would you like to make me happy?” Xander grasped Angel’s injured hand and gently began to kiss each fingertip.

Part of Angel’s brain wondered if this nineteen-year-old boy had any idea to what lengths the vampire would go to please him. “Oh yes.” His hips unconsciously bucked as Xander’s tongue swirled around one finger.

The younger man release the hand and moved upwards toward Angel’s face. “Would you like to know what would make me happy?”

Angel closed his eyes and nodded. Every nerve was on fire, his dead body had never felt so alive.

“Doyle. . .”

Angel’s eyes flew open to see the teen’s smirking face just inches from his own.

“. . . and you.”

The older man blinked. Once again the mortal had managed to surprise him. “You mean. . . both of us?”

“Uh huh. Of course I don’t know if your bed can hold three people.”

“I was thinking of getting a new one anyway.”

Xander grinned as he leaned in and pressed his mouth against Angel’s. The vampire wrapped his arms around the younger man and held him close, each little movement sending a spark running through him. After a while they broke apart, Xander needed breath and Angel need to ask a nagging question.

“What if Doyle isn’t interested?”

Xander shrugged. “His loss.”

“Definitely.” Angel agreed before pulling the mortal back into his rightful place, firmly nestled in the vampire's arms.

**********

Sticky and Sated

Summary: This is Angel’s POV on a Doyle and Xander induced afterglow   
Dedication: This is for Cinder, thanks for the poodle ;)
 
********************


I’m happy.

It’s still kinda hard for me to wrap my mind around this latest emotional development.

But, I’m happy.

I’m also imbued with this irrational need to express my happiness in un-me-like ways. If I wasn’t so elated I might be scared of the urges I’ve been getting. Urges to sing at the top of my lungs and do a few cartwheels around the room, of course if I did that Doyle and Xander might get the urge to have me committed, or at the very least, heavily sedated.

Nope. I’ll just stay right here, thank you very much. Here in my nice, warm, crowded bed. After all, the absolute last thing I’d want to do is disturb the two dark haired men who are currently using my body as a pillow.

Xander was right, this bed really wasn’t made for three people. It’s kind of nice though, in order for us to fit we had to press in together. Xander on the right, Doyle on the left, and a happy me sandwiched in the middle.

They’re both wrapped around me. Their arms hugging my waist. Their legs draped over mine. Their heartbeats echoing through me, making me feel more alive then I have in centuries. . . And I’m smiling again. I just know a great big goofy grin is plastered on my face and I can’t do a damn thing about it. I suppose that’s the price I’ll have to pay to stay in this sweaty, euphoric haven. Oh great, now the muscles in my cheeks are actually starting to hurt.

Okay, I need to calm down. I need to relax and get some rest. Cordy should be in soon and Buffy and Willow will most likely be with her. I’ll need energy for that conversation.

‘Oh, hey Buffy. Yeah, Xander’s here. No, he’s not going back to Sunnydale with you. Why? Well, Doyle and I have discovered the joys of threesomes and we’re keeping Xander chained to my bed for the foreseeable future. Would you like some coffee?’

Oh yeah, that’ll go over well.

Maybe I’ll just tell her the truth. How Xander and I talked, finally airing out the problems that have plagued us for four years, and how we then decided to celebrate by grabbing Doyle and jumping into the nearest available bed.

Right, and I’m sure I’ll be perfectly happy in my new home, the slightly used bag of a Hoover.

It’s not going to be easy explaining this to her, especially since I’m having more then a little trouble excepting that it all actually happened.

Me, Xander and Doyle.

A vampire, a human, and a half demon. It sounds like a set up to a truly God awful joke, but it’s not. It’s not a joke, or a dream, or one of those particularly nice fantasies I sometimes get in the shower, it’s reality, one which bypassed any and all expectations.

The kisses and nips and gentle bites, and the incredibly urgent need to remove each and every article of clothing. The remarkable want associated with possessing each new inch of skin with fingers or tongues, or both. Then, the three of us sliding against one another, thrusting in a rhythm only we could hear. We weren’t looking for torturous anticipation, just a quick, primal release. Tenderness and true exploration could wait.

Lips and tongues and teeth danced across flesh as our bodies melded together. Xander came first, he is only human after all, then Doyle. Their bodies shuddered violently, against mine triggering my own release. We collapsed in a tangled, undignified heap, no one wanting to expend the necessary energy to move.

After a few minutes the satisfied pants gave way to smooth, even breaths and my new partners fell into a deep, exhaustive sleep. Me, well, I just fell into a deep thorough. . . contentment.

Contentment, that’s a really good word for this.

I swear I feel like a great big cat just basking in the offered warmth of my mates. That analogy fits, I think I actually did purr earlier. Thank you Doyle.

Now, the only sounds I can hear are those made by my lovers. I’m sure living creatures never know just how noisy they are, even in sleep. The rhythm of breathing, the steady rush of blood through veins and most importantly, the cadence of the heartbeat. These wondrous, completely normal sounds have filled me with a sense of complete and total safety I haven’t felt since I was. . . human.

I wonder if they know that? If they have any idea what they’ve done to me. They set me on fire. Each touch, every kiss, every lick, branded me as their’s and I wonder if they know it? I wonder what they’ll do when they find out.

No, I’m not going to let myself worry about the future, the present is going to be hard enough. Another sound has joined those emanating from my lovers.

It’s the elevator.

Well, this should be interesting.

**********

The Mid-Morning After