Wanting to Scream
Summary: Xander's thoughts on an encounter with Deadboy
 
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'What the hell am I doing?'
That question has been on a constant rotation in my head for the past half hour. That along with 'What the hell was I thinking?'

Wake me when the day breaks,
Show me how the sun shines.
Tell me 'bout your heartache,
Who could be so unkind?

I never actually thought it would happen. I mean I had dreamt about it, fantasized about it, but I had accepted that that was all it would ever be. A dream, a fantasy, a wish.

Do you dream to touch me,
And smile down deep inside?
Or could you just kill me?
Hey, it's hard to make up your mind sometimes.

I was the one who ended up going to him, but he made the first move. One second I was yelling at him, berating him for his treatment of Buffy. Next thing I knew he grabbed me. For one second I was terrified, I thought I had gone too far. Angel had finally had enough of me and he was going to show his displeasure in a particulary painful way.

My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride
My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride.

So imagine my extreme shock when, instead of ripping my throat open, he kissed me.

Are you wanting inspiration?
You spill your secrets on me.
Then you tell me with a whsiper,
Of things that will never be.

It took me a few beats to realize what was happening but when I did I responded heatedly. Morals, values, shame, all of them left me the moment his lips touched mine. He opened his mouth slightly and I did the same. His tongue hesitantly began to expore my mouth and I basically melded against his body, allowing him to embrace me completely.

Do you hear me breathing?
Does it make you want to scream?
Did you ever like a bad dream?
Yeah, sometimes life is obscene.

One of his hands pressed against the small of my back, holding me close to his body. I could feel his other hand in my hair, gently massaging my scalp. Every single nerve in my body was screaming at me. I finally let my arms wrap around his cold, hard body, my hands playing over the muscles in his back.

My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride.
My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride.

I never imagined one kiss could make me so aroused. I tried to pull away when I felt my cock start to harden but Angel just held me tighter. He ground his hips against mine and I realized that I wasn't the only one getting a 'happy'.

My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride.
My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride.

I could feel his hardness against my thigh and I knew that he could feel me. We began to rock against each other, obtaining desperatly needed friction. His hand on my back drifted down to grab my ass. I moaned into his mouth.

Lover, cover me with your sleep.
Let your love light shine, let it shine.
Lover, cover me with a good dream.
Let your love light shine.

Then, just as abruptly as it had begun, it was over. He pulled away from me, distancing himself. He said he needed to go out for something. His tone was calm but his eyes pratically smoldered. He told me I could leave if I wanted to but that he would like it if I stayed.

My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride.
My angels, my devils,
Thorn in my pride.

What the hell am I doing?
What the hell was I thinking?
When the hell is he getting back?

**********

Finding Inspiration
Summary: Angel's thoughts on his encouter with Xander  

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You would think that with almost two hundred and fifty years of life, so to speak, under my belt I would have known better. He came to me though, at least there's that. Of course he came to talk about Buffy.

He was actually upset because I broke up with her. I swear, I don't think I will ever fully understand that boy. You'd think he'd be overjoyed that she was now free of me but instead he's upset. He said that Buffy loved me and if I still loved her I should be with her, no matter what.

That statment kind of shocked me. These past few weeks have been really hard on Xander but I won't say it's been all bad for him. He's grown up a lot, and I was seeing the evidence of that first hand. Yeah, he was calling me every name in the book, the kid must watch a lot of cable, but the old Xander would never have come to me in the first place.

I just let him rant for a while. Finally I couldn't take it any longer, my control snapped and I grabbed his arms. God, the look he gave me cut to my soul. I had scared him. I knew he still didn't fully trust me. I don't blame him. If I had almost been killed by Angelus I probably wouldn't trust me either.

Before he could make a sound I bent my head and kissed him. His lips were soft. I lost myself in them.

It did register in my addeled brain that Xander was enjoying the kiss. I could feel his lips working steadily against mine. I absolutly refused to think about any ramifications as I introduced my tongue into him. I could feel a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. He tasted like chocolate.

I held him to me. His body was so warm and hard. I don't know how long we stayed like that, our bodies taking control. I had wanted him for so long and suddenly there he was. Dreams are nice but reality is infinitely better.

He tried to pull away from me then. I panicked, afraid that Xander had regained his senses. I just held him tighter. Any promise I had made myself about respecting his wishes flew out the proverbial window. I know the second he became uncomfortable with anything I should have let him go but I couldn't.

I realized what was wrong when I felt something hard against my hip. He wasn't upset, just embarrassed. I rubbed against him to let him know that he wasn't the only one being affected by our little trip into madness.

Our bodies almost unconsciously fell into a rythem against each other. I really don't remember moving my hand but suddenly there it was, on his ass. I squeezed, I couldn't help myself.

A sound of pleasure worked it's way out of Xander's throat and snapped me back to reality. I basically jumped away from him, my now working brain screaming at me incredulously. He just stood there staring at me. A flush had settled over his cheeks adn his slightly parted lips were colored a dark pink, but it was his eyes that sent shivers racing up and down my spine.

I had always considered myself a kind of connoisseur of Xander's eyes. They're an incredibly deep, rich brown, framed by the longest lashes I've ever seen. Whoever described eyes as the windows of the soul must have had someone like Xander in mind. He can make his face completely blank but whatever he's feeling will be wide open in those eyes.

As I stood there, trying to garner enough self-control to not fling him over my shoulder and carry him to my bed, I realized that I had never seen his eyes that dark before. It's like they were burning into me. I could see equal parts lust and anger, both vying for control.

I said that I needed to go out for a little while. I gave him an out, told him he could leave. I also told him that I would appreciate it if he stayed. Hey, if there is one being on this planet who can work guilt, it's me.

I really did have a viable excuse for leaving, I needed blood. Of course who should I see at the slaughterhouse but Buffy. We didn't say much to each other, there really wasn't much to say. She was still hurting and I am truly sorry for that. As laughable as it might sound I never wanted to cause her pain.

Even standing there not ten feet from the supposed love of my life all I could think about was the beautiful mortal boy who was hopefully still waiting for me at the mansion.

Buffy and I exchanged a few more terse words before we parted. I was glad I had decided to leave. I really didn't think I could live with the constant threat of confrontations like that, and yes I realize the irony of that statement. Thoughts of leaving dissolved into thoughts of Xander. I had felt something from that kiss and I don't just mean the obvious physical things. That boy, the bane of my undead life made something stir in my soul that I had thought was long dead.

I tried to push those thoughts out of my head. I told myself over and over again that I was mistaken. There was no way in hell, and I know 'cause I've been there, that I could possibly be in love with Xander Harris.

Right?

**********

Spilling Secrets
Summary: Angel and Xander work through their problems
 
********************

Angel hesitantly entered the mansion, not quite sure what he was hoping to find. His undead heart gave a little leap when he saw Xander sitting on the couch, lost in the flicker of the fire.

"Xander."

At the sound of the vampire’s voice the boy started slightly. "Hey Deadboy. Didn’t hear you come in. Big surprise there."

Angel didn’t even wince at the dreaded nickname. "You’re still here."

"Yeah. You in a stating the obvious mood tonight?"

"I just wasn’t sure if . . ."

"If I’d reclaimed my sanity yet?"

"Yeah."

"Like you said, I’m still here."

"Uh, I need to put this away." Angel motioned to the plastic bag in his hand. "Then I really think we need to talk."

"Talk, yeah. So what’d you get?"

"Blood."

"Oh."

Angel walked into the kitchen silently cursing himself the whole way. *Talk! Talk! Oh, excellent Angel, just accumulating the seduction points tonight aren’t we. Why can’t I just go with it? Grab him like I did before?* "Dammit." He said softly.

"Angel?"

The vampire spun around and saw Xander nervously standing in the doorway.

"Maybe I should go." He said.

"No!" Angel walked to the young mortal. "Xander, I’m sorry. I’m just a little. . ."

"Nervous, scared, embarrassed, excited, what?"

Angel smiled. "All of the above."

Xander flashed his grin. "Well, at least I’m not alone in the emotional turmoil aspect of this."

"No you’re not."

"Angel, what’s going on?"

"I don’t know." He put his hand against Xander’s cheek, satisfying his need to feel the boy’s skin. "I don’t know if I want to know."

Xander pulled away. "Well I do." He walked back into the main room distancing himself from the vampire.

Angel followed, unsure of how to proceed.

"This isn’t easy for me Angel."

"I know. . ."

Xander held up his hand. "Please let me finish. If I don’t’ say this now I don’t know if I ever will."

Angel nodded and waited for him to continue.

"It’s not about you being a guy, I realized some time ago that I’m bisexual. It’s not about you being a vampire, you're actually pretty tame compared to some of the people I’ve been attracted to over the years . I don’t have a problem with what you are. I do, however, have a problem with who you are."

Angel felt his heart sink a little. He could tell what was coming up next and he didn’t like it.

"Buffy’s my friend, you’re her boyfriend. This can’t happen."

"I’m not her boyfriend." Angel enunciated every word.

Xander rolled his eyes.

"I haven’t loved her for quite some time."

"Since when?"

Angel’s voice was quiet. "Since my first century in Hell."

Xander froze. He had heard bits and pieces of what had happened to the vampire but never from Angel himself.

"I tried to keep loving her, I really did, but after a while I just couldn’t anymore."

Xander focused on the tops of his shoes. Unable to look at the vampire.

"It’s not even because she sent me to Hell. I don’t hold her responsible for that. I just stopped remembering her. The torture was. . .endless. There were only so many things I could hold onto. . . and she wasn’t one of them. . .You were."

Xander’s head shot up. "What?"

Angel let a small smile grace his features. "Every smartass comment, every hateful insult, every single moment I ever spent with you. That’s what I held onto. That’s what got me through my time there. Your eyes and your grin and your seizure-like dance moves." The smile had widened and lit up his face. "You got me through Hell Xan."

Xander turned away, unable to face the older man any longer. He was shaking and could feel the wetness building in his eyes.

"What’s wrong?" Angel’s voice was filled with concern which only made Xander’s tears overflow.

"Xan?" He felt the vampire’s strong hand on his shoulder.

"Don’t call me that!" Xander violently pulled away from Angel’s touch. His hands were balled into tight fists, tears now streaming freely down his cheeks. "I’m not your friend, I’m not your pal, and I’m sure as hell not your true love."

Angel stood stunned at this sudden outburst. Confusion ruled his thoughts as he tried to think of someway to calm the boy down.

"You say I got you through Hell." A mirthless laugh tore itself form Xander’s throat. "The truth is I sent you there."

If there was one thing he didn’t expect the boy to say that was it. "What do you mean?" Xander was clam now. It was time for the truth. "I knew Willow was going to try the soul restoration spell again. I was supposed to tell Buffy. I didn’t."

They stood in silence for several minutes while Angel let the words sink in and Xander wished fervently that the vampire would just kill him and get it over with.

"Did you really hate me that much?" Angel finally asked, his tone soft and vulnerable.

"Emotions didn’t come into play." Xander’s gaze fixed on the fire again. "I still remember some of my training from when I was a soldier that one Halloween. Emotions cloud the judgement. You should never take them into a fight. I didn’t do it out of hate or jealousy. I did it because I was afraid Buffy wouldn’t be able to do her job. When it comes to you, or any homicidal psycho wearing your face, she’s got a blind spot the size of the grand canyon.

Angelus was going to destroy the world. Do you know that there are five billion people in the world now. Five billion.

Buffy didn’t do anything when he killed Ms Calander, or Teresa. She didn’t do a thing when he terrorized Willow or Giles. As long as she still thought there was part of you in that bastard she was never going to do what needed to be done. I did it because I didn’t trust her."

The truth was now out but Xander didn’t feel any lighter or freer. The weight on his heart was just as heavy.

As Angel felt his shock wear off two things stood out in his mind. The soldier was still a large part of Xander although it seemed to only come out in times of extreme stress, like now. The boy’s posture was ramrod straight, his face and voice expressionless. It was like he was being debriefed.

The other thing that Angel had taken note of was the way Xander had differentiated between him and his demon. Not even Buffy had done that.

He quickly made a decision and walked over to the mortal. Xander tensed even more when Angel’s hands touched his shoulders. Xander, resigned to his fate, tilted his head and exposed his throat for the vampire.

Angel ignored the boy’s invitation for death and began to knead the tight muscles under his hands.

Xander looked at him. Surprise showing plainly on his face. "What. . ."

Angel pressed a finger to the young man’s lips. His other hand tangled in Xander’s soft, dark brown hair. "I’m not going to hurt you. You did the right thing."

Xander’s eyes widened but he didn’t try to speak.

"I agree with everything you just said. The fate of the world isn’t something to fuck around with. I’m not mad at you. You didn’t send me to Hell Xander, Angelus did. I don’t blame you and I want you to stop blaming yourself."

Angel’s finger began to gently trace the lines of the boy’s mouth. "I meant everything I said before. Somewhere along the line I fell in love with you Xander. I tried to ignore it, tried to revive what I had with Buffy but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let you go."

"I don’t know what’s happening, but I know what I want to happen. I want to make love to you Xander and if you don’t want that I underst. . ."

Angel ended the sentence with a gasp as Xander caught the vampire’s finger with his mouth. A mischievous glint settled in the boy’s eyes as he sucked on the digit.

Angel was transfixed by the sight before him. The borrowed blood in the vampire’s body rushed into his cock as Xander gently suckled, swirling his tongue around the tip.

Somehow Angel managed to form words. "I guess we do want the same thing." A bit of the demon worked it’s way to the surface. "You know I can think of a better use for that mouth."

Xander released the finger and gave a crooked grin. He glanced around the room. "Should we move this elsewhere?"

Angel grabbed the mortal’s hand and quickly led him through the massive house. They ended up in the master bedroom.

Angel paused at the site of the bed. "Are you sure?"

Xander decided to show him his answer. He met Angel in a kiss, trying to pour all his feelings into that oh so intimate action. Angel’s arms wrapped around him holding him close. The kiss was a slow, sweet seduction, lazy but filled with incredible passion. When it ended both men’s lips were swollen, both sets of eyes were dark with desire. Both were also filled with a need to feel skin against skin.

Xander pulled his shirt over his head and let it fall unceremoniously to the floor then reached to do the same for Angel.

The vampire stopped him. "You’re not done yet."

Xander smiled, understanding what the other man wanted. He slowly let his hands travel over his body, pausing briefly to tease his nipples. His eyes remained locked on Angel’s. He kicked his shoes off and dropped his hands to his pants. First the button, then the zipper, then he was pushing down and stepping out of them. He pulled off his socks and stood before Angel, clad in only a pair of plaid boxers.

"Take them off." Angel’s voice was low and strained but still commanding.

Xander complied, gingerly pulling the fabric down to release his raging erection. Now completely nude he anxiously waited for the next move.

Angel simple stared for a few moments them he began to walk towards him. He circled the boy, his eyes never leaving Xander’s naked flesh. He took his time studying, memorizing, searing the image before him into his brain.

Finally he spoke. "Michelangelo would have wept."

"What?"

"Michelangelo Buonarroti, a sculptor, lived during the High Renaissance in Italy."

"I know who Michelangelo was Deadboy." Annoyance tinged Xander’s voice.

"Oh, I wasn’t sure. American educational system and all that." Angel said absently. He moved to face the boy. "You have a beautiful body Xander." Angel vaguely remembered Buffy telling him something about the boy joining the swim team at school. The decision obviously had worked in his favor. Xander’s body was lean and well defined, the body of a swimmer.

Xander blushed under the admiration. "I want to see yours now."

Angel smiled and unbuttoned his shirt. He shrugged it off and let the piece of silk drift to the floor. He removed his belt and stared at it a moment before giving Xander a wicked grin.

"What?"

"Oh, I just had an idea for something we could do later."

Xander felt equal parts fear and lust surge through him as he contemplated the piece of leather.

Sensing the other man’s discomfort Angel grew serious again. He gently began to stroke Xander’s cheek. "I’m sorry, forget I said anything, okay."

Xander looked into the vampire’s eyes and noted the worry he saw there. "Don’t fret Deadboy. You just surprised me that’s all." He reached down and fondled the offending accessory. "I wouldn’t be opposed to experimenting with somethings." He snorted. "’Cause you know getting ready to have sex with a souled, male vampire is getting soooo boring."

Xander chuckled at his joke while Angel’s frown only deepened. "I don’t want you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. I don’t want to force you."

Xander smiled and ran his hand over the other man’s cheek. "You haven’t. I want this just as much as you do. That’s why I’m here." The smile widened into a grin. "Look, you may be all dark and mysterious and gorgeous and everything but no amount of sexual prowess in the world could get me into this situation if I didn’t already want to be here." He paused. "Am I making sense?"

It was Angel’s turn to smile. "Yeah, you are."

"Good, sometimes it’s hard to be coherent when your naked. Of course you wouldn’t know anything about that." Xander’s grin turned feral. "Strip Deadboy."

Angel happily obeyed. Xander watched as more pale, muscular flesh came into view. He unconsciously licked his lips when he saw Angel’s cock for the fist time. Then all clothing was gone and their bodies were back together, all skin sliding against skin and hands in new places. They basically fell onto the king size bed, their mouths locked together, cocks rubbing against each other.

Xander pulled away from the kiss laughing at the chagrined look on Angel’s face. He nuzzled the vampire’s throat. "I want to do something else with my mouth." He murmured.

It took all of Angel’s control not to flip him over and take him right then. But Xander wanted to explore and who was he to say no? He watched as the dark head worked it’s way down his body, leaving wet kisses over his chest and stomach. Xander paused when he reached his erection. He contemplated it for a moment then gently brushed his fingers down the shaft. Angel didn’t know how a touch so soft could pack so much electricity. He arched his back, a whimper escaping from his lips.

Xander smiled at the reaction. He turned his attention back to Angel’s cock, grasping it firmly at the base. His other hand gently fondled his balls.

Angel watched as that dark head lowered, a pink tongue snaking out to taste the precum that glistened on his cockhead. Angel wanted to close his eyes and just let the sensations drown him but the urge to watch Xander pleasure him was stronger.

Xander’s mouth was on him now. Hot and wet and velvety tongue pushing him closer and closer to the edge. He sucked gently and slowly wanting to draw it out as long as he could. Angel could feel the heat building in his belly. All it took was a gentle squeeze of his balls and he was coming with a roar, long spurts filling Xander’s mouth.

Xander swallowed as much as he could then looked up at his new lover. Icy fear grabbed him when he saw Angel’s face. His eyes were closed but Xander knew that when they opened they would be a cold yellow, a perfect complement to the ridged features of the demon.

"Oh God Xan. . . that was. . ." Angel smiled down at the boy between his legs. The smile disappeared when he recognized the look of fear on the Xander’s face.

"What is it?"

"Angel?"

Realization dawned as his fingers flew to his face. He concentrated for a moment and the demonic features melted away. He moved down and gathered the mortal in his arms. "I’m so sorry Xan. I forgot to tell you."

"Tell me?" Xander’s voice was muffled by Angel’s shoulder.

"When vampires have an orgasm their face changes. It doesn’t mean anything. I’m still Angel." He began to rub Xander’s back.

The mortal started to relax. "That feels good."

"As good as this?" Angel placed little kisses on Xander’s jaw working his way to his ear. He sucked the lobe into his mouth and gently nibbled the sensitive skin. Xander moaned as his erection returned full force. Angel ran his tongue over the earshell and whispered. "I want you inside me."

The statement surprised Xander. He had just assumed he would be the bottom. "Are you sure?"

The vampire chuckled. "Oh yes." He looked deep into chocolately brown eyes. "Fuck me Xander."

Xander was immensely surprised he didn’t just come then and there. "I need. . ."

"Second drawer to the left."

Xander searched through the nightstand while Angel laid back against the pillows. Xander found the small tube and turned his attention back to his lover. Angel stretched languidly

Xander’s mouth descended on his. Angel’s hands ran over the younger man’s back then moved to his chest to lightly pinch his nipples. Xander’s erection was starting to throb now, he needed a release soon. He fumbled with the tube for a minute, trying to open it without breaking the kiss. He finally succeeded and he felt slick liquid gush over his hand.

Angel gasped as he felt the first finger enter him. It had been so long. He began to moan as Xander slowly stretched him.

"Angel, are you alright?"

Angel frantically nodded, he really didn’t think he could form words anymore.

Xander worked in a second finger and started thrusting. Angel was rocking back and forth on his hand, panting with unneeded breath. Xander removed his fingers. Angel whimpered at the loss but stopped when he saw Xander cover his cock with lube. Angel shifted, bringing his knees up to his chest to open himself to his partner. Xander positioned himself at Angel’s entrance and pushed in slightly. He paused, searching Angel’s face for any sign of displeasure or pain. Finding nothing but a mixture of love and lust he pressed in further, hot tightness surrounding him. Xander tried to think of something boring or disgusting, anything except the beautiful, willing body beneath his. He wanted to last.

Angel drew in a sharp breath as Xander brushed a particularly sensitive spot. Xander noticed this and repeated the action, this time earning a low moan.

He was sheathed completely now, his groin pressed tight against Angel’s ass. He drew out a little then pushed in again. He started a steady rhythm and let one had wrap around Angel’s once again hard erection, pumping it in time to his thrusts.

Xander felt the tension in his balls and began to thrust harder and faster. Angel showed his pleasure with a low purr from deep in his throat. As the speed and friction increased the purr turned into a growl and then erupted into another roar as his cock spasamed in Xander’s hand. Xander concentrated on his own orgasm now. He let go and allowed the wave of pure pleasure to wash over him. With a strangled cry he came, filling Angel’s bowels with his seed.

Xander pulled out and collapsed next to Angel. No words were spoken, none needed to be. They nestled close to each other. Both drifted off to sleep feeling complete for the first time.

**********

Good Dreams
Summary: what happens next

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Angel stared down at the text in his hands without really seeing it. It had been almost a week since he and Xander had first become lovers. Now the centuries old vampire was lucky if he could go five minutes without thinking about the mortal boy.

Normally that wouldn’t be a problem, he’d just sleep or brood until he could be with his love again but this was different. The Ascension was almost upon them and Angel was worried.

Every waking hour not spent with Xander had been delegated to vainly searching for any kind of information regarding the ceremony. All he knew was that it was going to be during Graduation, in the middle of the day, and that Xander was going to be on the front lines. The though that he wouldn’t be able to do anything except watch from the shadows ate away at the vampire. He knew he would die before he let anything happen to Xander.

*Oh great. I think I lasted almost a minute that time.*

Angel smiled ruefully and gave in, letting his mind wander over the past week. It had truly been amazing and not just the sex. He had discovered a whole different side to Xander. Behind the sarcasm and posturing there was an intelligent, vulnerable young man. Someone who deserved to be loved and nurtured. Angel had carefully pulled back the boy’s protective layers, soothing old wounds with soft kisses and gentle words.

Every night after the requisite research session at the library, Xander had returned to the mansion, to Angel’s bed. The vampire hated treating the relationship so clandestinely but he understood. Xander didn’t want to hurt Buffy. He still considered her to be a friend, no matter how shabbily she had treated him lately.

Angel had continued to be the bottom. He didn’t want to rush the boy but with each night Xander was becoming more open and comfortable. Angel could tell they would take that final physical step soon.

Angel still had that image in his mind and a knowing smile on his lips when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and was greeted with the sight of a very agitated Xander.

“Is it true?”

“Xan.” The vampire smiled in spite of himself. “I didn’t think you were coming over ‘til later.”

“Is it true?” The boy repeated.

“Is what true?”

“Are you leaving?”

Angel’s heart dropped.

Xander snorted when he saw the look on his lover’s face. “You are.”

“Xander.”

“Oh God, I don’t believe this.”

“Xander please. . .”

“No, wait, considering all my previous relationships I should have seen it coming.”

“Let me explain.”

Xander turned on the vampire, pure rage darkened his eyes. “Explain what exactly? There is nothing to explain. I’ve already figured it out.” He took a step towards the older man. “Buffy wouldn’t put out so you decided to find another warm body to fuck before you left.”

Angel looked at him with shock. “You don’t really believe that.”

“I don’t know what to believe. You’ve been so soft and sweet these past few nights, I thought I meant something to you.”

“You do!” Angel grabbed the boy’s arms, a sense of deja vu flitted through his mind as he stared into chocolate brown eyes.

“Then don’t leave.” The voice was small and pleading.

“It’s not that simple.” Angel paused, trying to think of the easiest way to explain it to the boy. “I was brought back to Earth for a reason Xander. Some. . .thing thinks that I could make a difference in the world, do some good.”

“And you can’t do that here?”

“As trite as it may sound, my work here in Sunnydale is almost done. I can feel it in my soul, something’s telling me it’s time to move on.

A look of resignation had settled over the younger man’s face. “So you hove to go.”

“Yes, but I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t have to go alone.”

“What?”

“Come with me Xander.”

“I repeat with more feeling What!?”

“I’m staying in Sunnydale through Graduation. I thought that if we both managed to survive and you weren’t doing anything for the rest of your life. . . you could come with me.”

Xander thought for a moment. “The rest of my life huh?”

“Or for however long you want to stay.”

Xander grinned. “Come on Deadboy, you really think you could handle me?”

Angel returned the grin. “Since I already spend most of my time thinking about handling you, it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“Cute Deadboy. Very funny.”

“I thought so. So, was that a yes?”

Xander stared into the velvety brown of the vampire’s eyes. They stood like that for the longest time, just looking at each other. Finally the mortal pulled the other man into a deep, sensuous kiss.

“No.” Xander said softly. “But that was.”

**********


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